Fishing License

A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Balliff jumped out of the bushes. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell. The Balliff was hot on his heels.
After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Balliff finally caught up to him. 'Let's see yer fishin' license, Boy!' he gasped. With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Balliff a valid fishing license.
'Well, son,' said the Balliff, 'you must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!'
'Yes, sir,' replied the young guy, 'but my friend back there, well, he don't have one.'

Last Respects

Two fishermen are fishing in a local river when a funeral procession passes over the nearby bridge. One of the fisherman takes off his hat and holds it close to his chest until the procession passes by then replaces it on his head. The other fisherman is impressed by this and remarks that he is touched by the others respect for the funeral, to which the fisherman replies "It's the least I could do, we would have been married 35 years next week."

Get-A-Way

Henry's son, David, burst into the house, crying. His mother asked him what the problem was.
"Daddy and I were fishing, and he hooked a giant fish. Really big. Then, while he was reeling it in, the line busted and the fish got away."
"Now come on, David," his mother said, "a big boy like you shouldn't be crying about an accident like that. You should have just laughed it off."
"But that's just what I did, mommy."

DOH!

Bill and Ben, two avid fisherman and well-known drunks, were out in a boat on their favourite lake one day drowning some worms and polishing off some brews. Suddenly, Bill got what he thought was a nibble.Reeling it in he found a bottle with a cork in it. Naturally curious, he uncorked the bottle and a large genie appeared. The genie said "I will grant you one wish."Bill thought for a second and said "I wish this whole lake was beer." Poof! His wish came true. The lake was now filled with their favorite brew.Ben looked at Bill in disgust and said "you asshole, now we have to piss in the boat."

World Record

There was a priest that loved to stream fish. One year there was a problem every time he had a chance to go fishing the weather was bad or it was on Sunday, when he had to work. All year he was unable to go. Finally it was the last week before the streams closed. The weather was bad all week until Sunday, when the weather was great.
The priest could not resist, he called a fellow priest claiming to be very sick and asked if he could take over his sermon. The flyfishing priest drove over 200 miles, not wishing to see anyone he knew.
An angel seeing the priest playing hooky went to God and said "You're not going to let him get away with this are you?".
God agreed he should do something. The first cast the priest made was perfect. The fly floated past a log and a huge mouth gulped the fly down. For 45 minutes the priest ran up and down the stream fighting the mighty fish. At the end he held a 50" world record rainbow trout.
Confused the angel asked God, "What are you doing?"
God replied "Think about it, who's he going to tell?"

Caught!

A man phoned home from his office. "Honey," he told his wife, "Something has just come up. I have a chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. So would you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment and my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up." A week later he returned. "Did you have a good trip, dear?" His wife asked. "It was great, fabulous!" He exclaimed. "But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas." "No I didn't," She replied. "I put them in your tackle box."

Gone Fishing (and back)

The rich industrialist from the North was horrified to find the southern fisherman lying lazily beside his boat, smoking a pipe.
"Why aren't you out fishing?" said the industrialist.
"Because I have caught enough fish for the day," said the fisherman.
"Why don't you catch some more?"
"What would I do with them?"
"You could earn more money," was the industrialist's reply. "With that you could have a motor fixed to your boat and go into deeper waters and catch more fish. Then you would make enough to buy nylon nets. These would bring you more fish and more money. Soon you would have enough money to own two boats - maybe even a fleet of boats. Then you would be a rich man like me."
"What would I do then?" asked the fisherman.
"Then you could really enjoy life."
"What do you think I am doing right now?"

See anybody you know...?