See anyone you recognise?
So we've all got one thing in common, we all
love nothing better than to escape to the bankside for a few
hours a week. After that however we've all got our wee foibles.
Have a read through and see if you recognise anyone you know,
you might even spot yourself.....
The Beginner
A stage everyone must go through,
so be nice to them! Easily spotted at the first match of the
Winter in t-shirt and jeans soaked to the skin, shivering like
a leaf and slowly turning blue. First lesson learnt - STAY WARM!
Today's rookies are faced with a bewildering choice of brand
names and tackle selections that quite frankly could cause serious
brain meltdown if they aren't given some helpful advice. Helpful
advice of course does NOT mean telling them that they MUST have
the new £4000 pole just out. No, suggesting they scale
down their tackle from 20lb fluorescent line and size 2/0 hooks
would be a useful start though. A reasonable feeder rod is a
must and Jif lemons are a big no-no.
Once past the initial "disaster zone" stage the Beginner
learns quickly and many an entrance fee is paid just so he can
walk the bank after an hour and squeeze every bit of info from
the more experienced around him, which more often than not is
freely given, as anglers in general are a fairly helpful bunch
(Secret Squirrel aside). The flow of information is always a
good barometer as to your development. When you're a duffer
nobody minds giving you hints, however when the flow slows you
know you've moved out of the Beginner stage….
The Simplist
A wise man once said, "Ignorance
is bliss…" and this could well be the motto of the
Simplist. He wants or needs very little to enjoy his day on
the bank. A battered old feeder rod, reel filled with good old
4lb Maxima, a big plastic seat box (which serves his needs perfectly
adequately thank you very much), a bag of good old brown crumb
(with maybe a little flavouring for the mixing water on special
occasions) and a couple of pints of maggots/casters. Nothing
sophisticated about his set ups involving 4 swivels and half
a dozen specially designed knots, it takes him about ten minutes
to set up and that includes mixing his groundbait and having
a smoke, leaving him an hour and a half for a snooze before
the match starts. He can place the feeder on a sixpence at 60
yds without the aid of those fancy line clips, can almost sense
bites before they happen and always seems to get his fair share
of fish which invariably include the biggest lumps caught in
the match. Doesn't win much, doesn't care - he's just happy
to be messing about on the river, and on those days when he
lands a few more lumps than normal, his winnings are a welcome
top up for his weekly beer vouchers.
The Secret Squirrel
"How ya goin?"
"Ok."
……
"What ya got?"
"Bits and pieces."
……
"What ya getting them on?"
"Ah this and that."
"AAGGGHHHHHHH!"
The typical conversation with the
SS. Even if you're just out for a wander and fancy a chat with
someone with similar interests you're more likely to get some
useful information from one of those telephone receptionists
on a premium rate "help"-line than him. The sort of
guy who puts up his brolly on the warmest day of the year so
he can operate in complete privacy. His groundbait is mixed
at home, not as good preparation but in fear of someone discovering
his secret recipe of 11 different herbs and spices - the Colonel
has nothing on him.
Not exactly a team player the SS angling conversations range
from the secretive to pure un-adulterated lies. Always be wary
of a man who says he's caught 100lb of bream, in 3 hours, on
a single grain of hemp, at 3m to hand, in 6 inches of water
(everyone knows you'd have to fish at least TWO grains on the
hook for that!!!).
(Humour)
(Part2)
